Scripture
The Holy Catholic Church teaches, through Scripture and Tradition, that the husband is the head of his family and has God-given authority over his wife and children. This gift of authority does not give a husband any greater dignity than his wife. Both are equal members of the marital covenant, as is reflected by God creating woman from the side of man (as opposed to his head or feet). Instead, this order of authority reflects the divine order between God, Christ and man. God blessed the marital covenant with this order to maintain peace and harmony in the family, the “domestic church.” Just as Christ is the Head of the Catholic Church (the family of God), so the father is the head of his domestic church (his family).
1 Cor. 11:3 – “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”
Eph. 5:22-24 – “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head of the church, His Body, and is himself its savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.”
Col. 1:18 – “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
Titus 2:5 – Wives should be submissive to their husbands, that the word of God may not be discredited.
1 Peter 3:1-2 – “Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior.”
1 Peter 3:5-6 – “So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are now her children if you do right and let nothing terrify you.”
Gen. 2:18; 1 Cor. 11:9; 1 Tim. 2:12-13 – while some people argue that God imposed the submission requirement upon women as a punishment for the original sin, this is not true. God designated the man as the head of his family from the very beginning of creation, even before the original sin. Therefore, man’s authority over the woman was not imposed as a punishment for the original sin, but to reflect the order of creation.
Gen. 3:16 – in fact, God revealed that women would want to usurp their husband’s authority as the result of the original sin. After the original sin, God tells Eve: “Yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” Thus, as a result of the original sin, Eve would desire to rule over Adam, but God ensured that Adam would rule over Eve.
Gen. 4:17 – also shows that the Hebrew word for “desire” refers not to a hunger for affection, but a desire to rule over someone. Here, God tells Cain “sin is couching at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.” Sin wants to rule over Cain, but Cain must rule over sin.
Isaiah 3:12 – the prophet laments about how women were usurping the authority of men, during the height of Israel’s covenant apostasy.
Just as wives must be submissive to their husbands as the head of the family, husbands must love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loves the Church:
Eph. 5:25,28 – just as wives must submit to their husbands, husbands must “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.” Just as the Church is legally and morally obligated to submit to Christ, wives are obligated to submit to their husbands. This is why Paul makes the comparison between husbands and Christ, wives and the Church.
Eph. 5:33 – “let each one of you love his wife as himself.”
Col.. 3:19 – “husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
1 Peter 3:7 – “Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Because men are spiritual fathers to their families (as both ministerial and royal priests), God revealed through St. Paul that women should be silent in church, and not usurp the roles that God intended for men:
1 Cor. 14:34-35 – “the women should keep silence in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be subordinate, as even the law says. If there is anything they desire to know, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.”
1 Tim. 2:11-15 – “Let a woman learn in silence with all submissiveness. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over men; she is to keep silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet woman will be saved through bearing children, if she continues in faith and love and holiness, with modesty.” Paul is emphasizing the woman’s primary role as the giver of natural life, just as a man’s primary role is the giver of supernatural life. Again, Paul bases his teaching on God’s order of creation.
1 Cor. 14:34-35 – “the women should keep silence in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be subordinate, as even the law says. If there is anything they desire to know, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.” Notice that Paul says women should be silent in churches “as even the law says.” In verse 37, he reiterates “what I am writing you is a command of the Lord.” Paul is explaining that forbidding women to speak in church is a divine command from Almighty God (and not sexist or culturally motivated).
1 Cor. 11:4-10 – Paul also teaches that a woman must cover her head when she prays or prophesies, especially in church: “Any man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but any woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled dishonors her head -- it is the same as if her head were shaven. For if a woman will not veil herself, then she should cut off her hair; but if it is disgraceful for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her wear a veil. For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. (For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. That is why a woman ought to have a veil on her head, because of the angels.”
The veil symbolizes that the woman is under the authority of man and must submit to him, just as the Church is under the authority of Jesus Christ and must submit to Him. Paul again explains that his instructions are divinely-inspired when he tells women to wear veils “because of the angels.”
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Monday, September 29, 2014
The Husband As The Head of the Family
Monday, September 22, 2014
MOTHER TERESA'S MESSAGE TO FOURTH UN WOMEN'S CONFERENCE
[The following message is being sent by Mother Teresa of Calcutta to the UN Women's Conference in Beijing:]
Dear Friends,
I am praying for God's blessing on all who are taking part in the Fourth World Conference on Women in Beijing. I hope that this Conference will help everyone to know, love, and respect the special place of women in God's plan so that they may fulfill this plan in their lives.
I do not understand why some people are saying that women and men are exactly the same, and are denying the beautiful differences between men and women. All God's gifts are good, but they are not all the same. As I often say to people who tell me that they would like to serve the poor as I do, "What I can do, you cannot. What you can do, I cannot. But together we can do something beautiful for God." It is just this way with the differences between women and men.
God has created each one of us, every human being, for greater things-- to love and to be loved. But why did God make some of us men and others women? Because a woman's love is one image of the love of God, and a man's love is another image of God's love. Both are created to love, but each in a different way. Woman and man complete each other, and together show forth God's love more fully than either can do it alone.
That special power of loving that belongs to a woman is seen most clearly when she becomes a mother. Motherhood is the gift of God to women. How grateful we must be to God for this wonderful gift that brings such joy to the whole world, women and men alike! Yet we can destroy this gift of motherhood, especially by the evil of abortion, but also be thinking that other things like jobs or positions are
more important than loving, than giving oneself to others. No job, no plans, no possessions, no idea of "freedom" can take the place of love. So anything that destroys God's gift of motherhood destroys His most precious gift to women-- the ability to love as a woman.
God told us, "Love your neighbor as yourself." So first I am to love myself rightly, and then to love my neighbor like that. But how can I love myself unless I accept myself as God has made me? Those who deny the beautiful differences between men and women are not accepting themselves as God has made them, and so cannot love the neighbor. They will only bring division, unhappiness, and destruction of peace to the world. For example, as I have often said, abortion is the greatest destroyer of peace in the world today, and those who want to make women and men the same are all in favor of abortion.
Instead of death and sorrow, let us bring peace and joy to the world To do this we must beg God for His gift of peace and learn to love and accept each other as brothers and sisters, children of God. We know that the best place for children to learn how to love and to pray is in the family, by seeing the love and prayer of their mother and father. When families are broken or disunited, many children grow up not knowing how to love and pray. A country where many families have been destroyed like this will have many problems. I have often seen, especially in the rich countries, how children turn to drugs or other things to escape feeling unloved and rejected.
But when families are strong and united, children can see God's special love in the love of their father and mother and can grow to make their country a loving and prayerful place. The child is God's best gift to the family and needs both mother and father because each one shows God's love in a special way. The family that prays together stays together, and if they stay together they will love one another as God has loved each one of them. And works of love are always works of peace.
So let us keep the joy of loving in our hearts and share this joy with all we meet. My prayer for all of the delegates, and for every woman whom the Beijing Conference is trying to help, is that each one may be humble and pure like Mary so as to live in love and peace with one another and make our families and our world something beautiful for God.
Let us pray.
All for the glory of God and good of souls.
God bless you.
Mother Teresa, MC
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Married Love - by St. Josemaria Escriva
Married Love
The majority of the members of Opus Dei are married people, so in this field I can speak from the experience of many years of priestly activity in many countries. For the married members of Opus Dei human love and marriage duties are part of their divine vocation. Opus Dei has made of marriage a divine way, a vocation, and this has many consequences for personal holiness and for apostolate. I have spent almost forty years preaching the vocational meaning of marriage. More than once I have had occasion to see faces light up as men and women, who had thought that in their lives a dedication to God was incompatible with a noble and pure human love, heard me say that marriage is a divine path on earth!
The purpose of marriage is to help married people sanctify themselves and others. For this reason they receive a special grace in the sacrament which Jesus Christ instituted. Those who are called to the married state will, with the grace of God, find within their state everything they need to be holy, to identify themselves each day more with Jesus Christ, and to lead those with whom they live to God.
That is why I always look upon Christian homes with hope and affection, upon all the families which are the fruit of the Sacrament of Matrimony. They are a shining witness of the great divine mystery of Christ's loving union with His Church which St. Paul calls sacramentum magnum, a great sacrament (Eph 5:32). We must strive so that these cells of Christianity may be born and may develop with a desire for holiness, conscious of the fact that the Sacrament of Initiation – Baptism – confers on all Christians a divine mission that each must fulfil in his own walk of life.
Christian couples should be aware that they are called to sanctity themselves and to sanctify others, that they are called to be apostles and that their first apostolate is in the home. They should understand that founding a family, educating their children, and exercising a Christian influence in society, are supernatural tasks. The effectiveness and the success of their life – their happiness – depends to a great extent on their awareness of their specific mission.
But they mustn't forget that the secret of married happiness lies in everyday things, not in daydreams. It lies in finding the hidden joy of coming home in the evening, in affectionate relations with their children, in the everyday work in which the whole family cooperates; in good humour in the face of difficulties that should be met with a sporting spirit; in making the best use of all the advantages that civilisation offers to help us rear children, to make the house pleasant and life more simple.
I constantly tell those who have been called by God to form a home to love one another always, to love each other with the love of their youth. Any one who thinks that love ends when the worries and difficulties that life brings with it begin, has a poor idea of marriage, which is a sacrament and an ideal and a vocation, It is precisely then that love grows strong. Torrents of worries and difficulties are incapable of drowning true love because people who sacrifice themselves generously together are brought closer by their sacrifice. As Scripture says,aquae multae, a host of difficulties, physical and moral, non potuerunt extinguere caritatem, cannot extinguish love (Song 8:7).
Conversations with Msgr. Escriva, Princeton New Jersey: Scepter, 1993, no. 91.
Women In The Life of Society - Saint Josemaria Escriva
Women in the life of society?
Josemaria Escriva
Firstly, let me say that I do not think there need be any conflict between one’s family life and social life. Just as in a man’s life, but with particular shades of difference, the home and the family will always occupy a central place in the life of a woman. For it is obvious that when she spends time on her family she is fulfilling a great human and Christian role. Nevertheless, this does not exclude the possibility of her having other professional work — for housework is also professional work — in any worthwhile employment available in the society in which she lives. I can understand why you state the problem the way you do. But I think that if we systematically contrast work in the home with outside work, retaining the old dichotomy which was formerly used to maintain that a woman’s place was in the home but switching the stress, it could easily lead, from the social point of view, to a greater mistake than that which we are trying to correct, because it would be more serious if it led women to give up their work in the home.
Even on the personal level one cannot flatly affirm that a woman has to achieve her perfection only outside the home, as if time spent on her family were time stolen from the development of her personality. The home — whatever its characteristics, because a single woman should also have a home — is a particularly suitable place for the growth of her personality. The attention she gives to her family will always be a woman’s greatest dignity. In the care she takes of her husband and children or, to put it in more general terms, in her work of creating a warm and formative atmosphere around her, a woman fulfils the most indispensable part of her mission. And so it follows that she can achieve her personal perfection there.
Development, maturity, emancipation of women should not mean a pretence of equality, of uniformity with men, a servileimitation of a man’s way of doing things. That would not get us anywhere. Women would turn out losers, not because they are better than men or worse, but because they are different.
In terms of fundamentals, one can in fact speak of equal rights which should be legally recognised, both in civil and ecclesiastical law. Women, like men, possess the dignity of being persons and children of God. Nevertheless, on this basis of fundamental equality, each must achieve what is proper to him or her. In this sense a woman’s emancipation means that she should have a real possibility of developing her own potentialities to the fullest extent — those which she has personally and those which she has in common with other women. Equal rights and equal opportunities before the law do not suppress this diversity, which enriches all mankind. They presuppose and encourage it.
To fulfil this mission, a woman has to develop her own personality and not let herself be carried away by a naive desire to imitate, which, as a rule, would tend to put her in an inferior position and leave her unique qualities unfulfilled. If she is a mature person, with a character and mind of her own, she will indeed accomplish the mission to which she feels called, whatever it may be. Her life and work will be really constructive, fruitful and full of meaning, whether she spends the day dedicated to her husband and children or whether, having given up the idea of marriage for a noble reason, she has given herself fully to other tasks.
Each woman in her own sphere of life, if she is faithful to her divine and human vocation can and, in fact, does achieve the fullness of her feminine personality. Let us remember that Mary, Mother of God and Mother of men, is not only a model but also a proof of the transcendental value of an apparently unimportant life.
Conversations with Msgr. Escrivá, Princeton New Jersey: Scepter, 1993, no. 87.
St. Frances of Rome
“A married woman must, when called upon, quit her devotions to God at the altar to find him in her household affairs.”
(St. Frances of Rome [1384-1440 A.D.], Foundress; Optional Memorial – March 9)
GOD MADE MARRIAGE
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On The Headship of Husbands
It can be very difficult for many of us to cut through modern usage of terms when reading Paul's admonitions to Christian husbands and wives. He definitely sounds chauvinistic to contemporary ears. We so easily view the idea of headship of the husband as a position of power. This is not only the modern worldly view of headship, but an ancient view as well. However, the Christian view — Paul's view — is neither. The headship of the husband is not a position of worldly power. Rather, it is a function of total surrender to the Cross. I finally came to terms with Paul's call to submission in marriage when I began to reflect on Christian marriage as a two-partner dance. Leading in a dance is simply a function. Following in a dance — i.e., "submitting" or "obeying" — is merely the reciprocal function. Both the husband and the wife are subject to Christ, as a man and a woman are subject to the music as they dance. If the husband's role is to lead, and the wife's role is to follow, so what? What's the big deal? How does it make the wife inferior? The husband superior? To claim such things of dance partners would be as nonsensical as stating that an axle is superior to the wheel attached to it. They are simply acting as one unit. In fact, they don't get anywhere unless they act as one unit. The most important element of the dance is that both partners must follow the same music.
If the husband is not listening to the music of the Gospel, he can neither lead nor function as a Christian husband. Is the wife then supposed to "submit" or follow when he steps on her toes this way? How can she? Contrary to popular revisionist belief, the writers of the Scriptures do not advise her to wallow in her suffering and to submit to abuse from a wayward husband who doesn't obey the Word. None of that is part of the solution offered in I Peter: that the wife, by example, show her reverence for the Word in order to bring her husband back to the Word (3:1-2). This passage reminds the woman that her first allegiance is always to Christ. She must, figuratively speaking, just keep humming the music of the Gospel to let her husband know he is out of line and out of step. Her tune should remind him that they are both called to total surrender to the Cross. The wife can't easily do this if she loudly complains about his sins or tries to lead him or push him around the dance floor. The best bet is to remain humble yet active, and firmly determined to let the Holy Spirit lead her thoughts, words, and deeds. Then the husband is most likely to be brought back into the dance. Otherwise, there can be no dance, no Christianmarriage.
And what of the wife who falls away from obedience to the Word? What is the husband's function when she steps on his toes or tires of the dance? Paul's answer is that the husband is not to humiliate the wife any more than she is to humiliate him. Paul specifically reminds the husband not to be "harsh" (Col. 3:19). He does so in the same spirit in which he reminds a wife not to berate her husband. In both cases, the husband and wife must put their egos aside in order to submit to God's will for each of them. In fact, in his letter to the Ephesians, Paul prefaces his whole discussion of headship with a statement clearly indicating that neither party has power over the other: "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Eph. 5:21).
- Stella Morabito
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To Love, Honor and Obey
by Elizabeth Ficocelli
We've all heard it. That reading at Mass. The one that makes people squirm in their pews, roll their eyes, snicker softly and elbow their spouses. The reading about wives being submissive to their husbands. It seems lay people aren't the only ones squirming. Priests may feel pressure to neutralize this unpopular teaching or avoid altogether the confrontational words of St. Paul in Ephesians 5:22: “Wives, be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.” Occasionally, a courageous priest may attempt to address this particular passage head-on. Often, he will focus on the part of the verse in which husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. He may site the command in verse 21 to be subordinate to one another out of reverence to Christ. This approach seems to imply that both women and men are given equally challenging instruction from the Lord and we should leave it at that. But does this philosophy overlook a deeper truth and a valuable lesson for married couples today? The “Secularized” Christian Viewpoint From a secular point of view, St. Paul would be considered politically incorrect at best. Some might go as far as to label him a misogynist. He seemed to have a poor view of marriage, preferring instead the holy state of singleness. In any case, one might conclude, the passage was written in a time when women were considered second-class citizens -- it simply has no application for today. The ironic part is this is not just a secular viewpoint, but the sentiment of many Christians today. A case in point: when the Southern Baptist Convention in recent years released a statement supporting the biblical teaching of the roles of husbands and wives, not only did the media have a heyday, but many Christian publications protested as well. The troubling statement read, “The marriage relationship models the way God relates to His people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.” Our current society, long conditioned by the feminist movement, cannot fathom such thinking. Surely we are far more enlightened and broad-minded than our biblical counterpart. Wasn't it our recent generations who recognized that women have long been exploited and oppressed? Weren't we the ones who liberated the female race with equal pay, equal rights, equal privileges and equal authority? Yes, we've come a long way, baby. But, since no man - or woman - is an island, we need to look at how this jockeying of the female role has impacted marriage, the family and society. A Look At Marriage Today The National Marriage Project is a non-partisan, nonsectarian, interdisciplinary initiative located at Rutgers University of New Jersey, funded by the university in cooperation with several private institutions. The objective of this project is to provide research and analysis on the state of marriage in America and to educate the public on the social, economic and cultural conditions affecting marital success and wellbeing. Surprisingly, this project which studies marriage trends from 1960 to the present is the first of its kind and scope. No one else - including the federal government - has committed the time, energy or funding to track what is happening within marriage in America, despite the fact that marriage remains a fundamental social institution, central to the nurture and raising of children. According to the information, Americans today still view marriage as an important life goal, and a lifelong, loving partnership as a cherished ideal. However, results of the National Marriage Project's survey show that what we as a nation would like to have and what we actually do have are not one and the same. Key social indicators suggest:
To Love, Honor and Yes, Obey St. Paul reminded the Corinthians that “the head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. Man is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” (1 Corinthians 11:7-10) St. Peter commanded wives, “be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior.” Ss. Peter and Paul were not creating radical new teaching in these passages. They were simply reiterating what was always understood as God's plan for marriage and family. Page through the books of the Old Testament, and you will find plenty of examples of what happens when men and women upset the natural order and disobey God's command. It leads to nothing short of disaster. Consider Adam and Eve, probably the best known story of disobedience in scripture. God commanded Adam to guard the garden and his wife. Adam was to follow God, and Eve to follow Adam. Instead, Eve disobeyed her husband and followed her own wants. Adam did not stand up to his wife, but followed her instead, reversing the order of submission. God chastises Adam, assigning him a life of sweat and hardship “because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten of the tree.” (Genesis 3:17) To Eve, he awards painful childbirth, “yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16) What about Abraham and Sarah? Sarah was promised a son by God. She got impatient, and had Abraham take Hagar, her maid. That union produced Ishmael, eventually leading to estrangement, heartache, and centuries of conflict between Arab and Jew. Rebecca ignored God's promise that her elder twin son would serve the younger. She instead conspired against her aging, blind husband, Isaac, by disguising Jacob, her favorite son. Jacob unworthily received his father's blessing, cheating Esau out of his Hebrew birthright and changing the course of Jewish history. King Solomon's wives turned his heart away from God, convincing Solomon to build a temple for their idols and, as a result, divided the kingdom. Samson's wife betrayed him by revealing the secret source of his strength to his enemies. It cost him his life. The list goes on and on. But not all biblical women made these kinds of choices. St. Peter refers to holy women of the Old Testament when instructing his contemporaries on the state of marriage: “Rather, let your adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God's sight. It was in this way long ago that the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by accepting the authority of their husbands.” (1 Peter 3:4-6). Without question, the most notable example of a marriage that followed God's ordered hierarchy was the Holy Family. Despite the fact that the child was God and the mother was without sin, it was Joseph, humble and fully human, to whom authority was given. Mary and Jesus loved, honored and obeyed Joseph, the head of their household. This is a great teaching to all of us. Applying The Concept To Marriage Today But how, you might ask? How can such a radical idea work in my marriage? If I, as a wife, submit to my husband, he's going to walk all over me. I'll be a doormat. What kind of example is that to set for my family? I want my daughters to grow up with a respect for themselves and a knowledge that they are of equal value and importance to men. In the book, How To Change Your Husband from Saint James Publishing, the author explains that submission does not lead to degradation, but rather liberation. Here's the key: when the wife's obedience is founded in love and the husband's decisions are in union with the will of God the Father, a sense of peace, contentment and harmony will be attained. By this loving and reverent example, children in turn will learn to respect father, mother, authority and themselves. “The words, 'wives be subject to your husbands', if lived, will bring about divine order and will be the beginning answer for all of society's ills. The fact that this order hardly exists today, or is weakened to such a degree that a husband's guidance is watered down to almost nothing, is reflective of a society gone mad. God, as a Father, does not leave man, who is the first reflection of God the Father on earth, without the divine prompting necessary to lead and guide his family.” It is important to understand that the equality issue presented here refers to the question of authority only. There is no dispute that women are equal in dignity, grace and worth and certainly equally loved by God. In fact, God's plan for women has always been to elevate them to a position of honor and esteem in the home and, for a long time, the role of wife and mother was highly regarded by all. However, the increasing power struggle between wives and husbands in this past century has bred broken relationships, rebellious children, lack of love and divorce. Women have lost their value, becoming subject to man and degraded by society - exactly the opposite of what “women's lib” set out to achieve. Pope Pius XI predicted this course of events in his encyclical, Casti Connubbi, in the year 1930: “False liberty and unnatural equality [in authority] with the husband is to the detriment of the woman herself, for if the woman descends from her truly regal throne to which she has been raised within the walls of the home by means of the gospel, she will soon be reduced to the old state of slavery (if not in appearance, certainly in reality) and become as among the pagans the mere instrument of man.” Pope Leo XIII, in his encyclical, Christian Marriage, emphasizes that subjection does not detract from the honor and dignity rightly due the woman: “The man is the ruler of the family, and the head of the woman; but because she is flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone, let her be subject and obedient to the man, not as a servant but as a companion, so that nothing be lacking of honor or of dignity in the obedience which she pays… Let divine charity be the constant guide of their mutual relations, both in him who rules and her who obeys, since each bears the image, the one of Christ, the other of the Church.” Pope John Paul II continues this theme in Familiaris Consortio: “Authentic conjugal love presupposes and requires that a man have a profound respect for the equal dignity of his wife: You are not her master…but her husband; she was not given you to be your slave, but your wife…Reciprocate her attentiveness to you and be grateful to her for her love.” Conclusion Clearly, the gospel call for the husband to be an authority figure, balancing complete submission to the will of his creator and perfect reverence for his spouse, is not an easy one, and one that comes with much responsibility and accountability. After years of having their authority usurped by feminism, this is a role many men will have difficulty at best in fulfilling. There is evidence, however, that the tides may be changing. Movements such as Promise Keepers and Covenant Keepers are taking root, enabling men to accept, reclaim and live out their sacred, God-given role of authority within the family. Books are being published on this subject. With these efforts, there is hope that society can be put back on course with marriages that are stronger and more fulfilling. While this is still threatening to many women, others have the vision to see the fruit of such change. Author Elizabeth Rice Handford, in her book, Me? Obey Him? affirms the benefit of following God's plan for marriage. “The woman who submits to her husband will share a oneness with him, a communion she never dreamed of, an emotional peace and security positively unattainable when she struggles with him for power in the home.” Still wrestling with this counter-cultural concept? Perhaps you can find solace in the words of Pope Pius XI:“For if the man is the head, the woman is the heart, and as he occupies the chief place in ruling, so she may and ought to claim for herself the chief place in love.” When we consider that Jesus himself taught that at the heart of the law is love, is this such a bad place to be? --- by Elizabeth Ficocelli Article from The Catholic Planet |
12 Quotes from Blessed Pope John Paul II on the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World
5. “While it must be recognized that women have the same right as men to perform various public functions, society must be structured in such a way that wives and mothers are not in practice compelled to work outside the home, and that their families can live and prosper in a dignified way even when they themselves devote their full time to their own family” (#23).
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St. Josemaria Escriva: 10 Questions about Marriage
4. What would you advise married women to do to ensure that their marriages continue to be happy with the passing of the years and that they do not give way to boredom? This question may not seem very important, but it is one asked by many people.
“I think it is in fact an important question and therefore the possible solutions are also important even though they may seem very obvious. If a marriage is to preserve its initial charm and beauty, both husband and wife should try to renew their love day after day, and that is done through sacrifice, with smiles and also with ingenuity. Is it surprising that a husband who arrives home tired from work begins to lose patience when his wife keeps on and on about everything she thinks has gone wrong during the day? Disagreeable things can wait for a better moment when the husband is less tired and more disposed to listen to them.
Another important thing is personal appearance. And I would say that any priest who says the contrary is a bad adviser. As years go by a woman who lives in the world has to take more care not only of her interior life, but also of her looks. Her interior life itself requires her to be careful about her personal appearance; naturally this should always be in keeping with her age and circumstances. I often say jokingly that older facades need more restoration. It is the advice of a priest. An old Spanish saying goes: ‘A well-groomed woman keeps her husband away from other doors.’
That is why I am not afraid to say that women are responsible for eighty per cent of the infidelities of their husbands because they do not know how to win them each day and take loving and considerate care of them. A married woman’s attention should be centered on her husband and children, as a married man’s attention should be centered on his wife and children. Much time and effort is required to succeed in this, and anything which militates against it is bad and should not be tolerated.
There is no excuse for not fulfilling this lovable duty. Work outside the home is not an excuse. Not even one’s life of piety can be an excuse, because if it is incompatible with one’s daily obligations, it is not good, nor pleasing to God. A married woman’s first concern has to be her home. There is a Spanish saying which goes: ‘If through going to church to pray a woman burns the stew, she may be half an angel, but she’s half a devil too.’ I’d say she was a fully-fledged devil.”
(Conversations with Saint Josemaria Escriva, 107)
For the full text, please click on this.
http://www.stjosemaria.org/articles/177-st-josemaria-escriva-10-questions-about-marriage
Wives Should Be Submissive To Their Husbands
| Wives Should Be Submissive to Their Husbands |
| Father Shannon M. Collins, CPM |
| 30th Week in Ordinary Time — Tuesday, Yr. II"Wives should be submissive to their husbands as if to the Lord because the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is Head of the body the Church, as well as its Savior. As the Church submits to Christ, so wives should submit to their husbands in everything" (Ephesians). 1. In ancient Israel, a Jewish king named Ahab married a pagan Queen named Jezebel. Their union is a perfect example of how original sin infects and perverts even the institution of marriage. In the First Book of Kings, King Ahab desires a piece of land near his palace owned by a man named Naboth. This good man refuses to sell the land since it was his ancestral property — land that was part of his family heritage. King Ahab went away sad and filled with self-pity. Queen Jezebel notices the condition of her husband and finds out about Naboth refusing to sell his vineyard. Jezebel cries out,A fine ruler over Israel you are indeed... get up and eat...I will obtain the vineyard of Naboth for you. The Bible then tells us that she wrote letters using the King's seal. Jezebel, it seems, took the scepter of power, usurped authority and falsely condemned Naboth. She then announced to Ahab, Go on, take possession of the vineyard of Naboth... which he refused to sell you, because Naboth is not alive, but dead. Throughout her reign as Queen, Jezebel was anything but subject to her husband. And as for King Ahab, his unwillingness to practice his God-given authority— his shrinking from responsibility and giving the scepter into the hands of his wife— brought weakness and corruption to the family of Israel. 2. Since the fall of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, a Jezebel spirit roams about the world seeking to convince women to usurp authority within the family — take the scepter from the man — while an Ahab-like spirit infects countless men causing them to flee from responsibility — shrink from exercising their God-given authority. The Revelation of God is very clear. Granted that men and women are equal in their human dignity, God has brought order to this equality: the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is Head of the body the Church. Remember that Adam was created first and then came Eve — First the head of the family was created and then the helpmate — created from Adam's side making Eve the heart of the human family. But then came sin and with sin infection within the divine institution of marriage. 3. In his First Letter to Timothy, St. Paul writes: It was not Adam who was deceived but the woman. It was she who was led astray and fell into sin. The devil did not seek to seduce Adam directly, but only indirectly through Eve. Adam was the head, but the serpent sought to chop off the head by means of the heart. I am convinced that Adam would have coldly dismissed the serpent — Get behind me Satan. As the head, he was focused on the goal of eternal life for him and the human family. Any obstacle that presented itself would have to be confronted and removed. But Eve talked to the devil — that was her first mistake. The heart should have turned to the head and asked direction. The head sees, the heart executes, carries through. But having been seduced, she took the forbidden fruit, ate it, and then offered it to her husband. Now it was Adam's turn. Here the father of the family, the husband failed to exercise his God given authority — Put the fruit down, Eve, he should have said. Adam could then have interceded for his wife — he could have acted as the mediator to bring down forgiveness. But no — he shrunk from his responsibilities — he hesitated — he flees his duty — he hems and haws — he procrastinates — he fails to lead. Though lacking eyesight, the heart can be very strong —although not meant to lead, the will can be quite powerful, even demanding. Eve took up an authority not rightfully hers — she guided Adam and Adam ate. 4. The key to restoring marriage — the key to defeat the Jezebel spirit and the weakness of Ahab is found in Ephesians: Wives should be submissive to their husbands as if to the Lord because the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is Head of the body the Church, as well as its Savior. As the Church submits to Christ, so wives should submit to their husbands in everything. The head should lead and guide — the head is visionary — it's where the eyes are. The heart, on the other hand, should execute, carry through — it's where the will is. Consider, for example, the marriage of St. Joseph and the Blessed Virgin Mary. Now Mary was immeasurably above Joseph — filled with grace. Her mind and heart were most pure. But Mary was not the head of the Holy Family. Her husband was. She would never, like Jezebel or like Eve, seek to usurp the scepter, assume the headship. And believe me, Joseph was not slow to exercise his God-given authority. When he received that dream — Take the child and his mother and flee into Egypt — Joseph lovingly and calmly led — Mary we're leaving Bethlehem now. And Mary did not fail to execute. The Jezebel spirit would have sought to usurp the headship — Come now Joseph, what sort of crazy dreams are you having now. We finally have some money, the gold of kings — we're out of that cave and finally into an apartment — you have a good job — the Child is the Son of David. He's meant to be in Bethlehem, the City of David. No, Mary immediately executes — she carries through — because she knows that Almighty God works through the head of the family. Mary lives and breathes that statement she made to the servants at Cana — DO WHATEVER HE TELLS YOU. 5. The Jezebel spirit and the weakness of Ahab is not just present in some marriages, but it is also present in some dioceses in the Church. You know, Fr. Corapi gave a retreat to our community a few years ago and I remember he once stated: There are Jezebels in the Church and Ahabs with miters on their heads empower them. Bishop Ahab, Fr. Ahab fail to exercise their God-given authority — churchmen hesitate — fleeing responsibility and duty and the family of the Church suffers. The key, again, to the restoration is for the head to be the head and for the heart to be the heart. There is nothing more wonderful to see than when a man leads, guides, and confidently directs. The woman is proud of her husband — that's my man. And there is nothing like a woman who fully executes the directives of the man. The greatest disciples — the best followers in history have always been women. Mary was the greatest follower of Jesus and St. Clare was the greatest disciple of St. Francis of Assisi. When a man willingly takes the lead and the woman willingly embraces his direction with her whole heart, the spirit of Ahab and Jezebel are exorcised for good. |
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